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Feb. 13th, 2007

black/white equality

St Valentine's Eve

 With minimal lighting and maximum candles and some nag champa incense burning instead, along with the Indigo Girls' "Rarities" cd softly playing in the background, it reminds me that we're upon St Valentine's Day.  The day that is filled with red hearts, brown chocolates, any color rose you can imagine and love notes abounding - is almost here.  Yes, I am a single lesbian in Rochester, and yes I have every intention of displaying my discontent with being single by wearing black tomorrow - but it doesn't mean that I'm not completely surrounded by love.

 Take tonight for example, the weather's increasingly getting worse what with the foot of snow they've predicted throughout the evening, but 11 members of my chorus' board met to hash out the nitty gritty and to work together to make what we love, our chorus and the music, become a better, more cohesive unit.  For the same love, one of the members left early to make us cupcakes for tomorrow's rehearsal!  

 Such love brought out two recent mothers and their 5 month old to our meeting who they rocked, fed, and passed around while allowing for pauses as we laughed at the baby's delight.  It's amazing how one little being can take two of the most prominent members of our chorus (the president and treasurer), who are both fairly high authority women outside of chorus as well, and turn the two them into softies.  The love of a mother for her child is something that always awes me.  The age, creed, color, orientation, language, favorite color doesn't matter - when a mother loves her child everyone sees it and the smiles that go around are infectious.

 Just yesterday my parents celebrated 15 years of marriage and are spending it on a cruise together which is one of their favorite past times.  It only took my mom three times, but I think she got the whole marriage thing right this time.  And thankfully my brothers, sister and I are products of her learning experiences - products of love.

 On the 20th of this month there will be a meeting held at the GAGV on E Main St regarding marriage equality for the lgbtq community.  I look forward to seeing who will show up in the name of love: couples, singles, gays, straight friends, religious friends, etc...  Equality equals Love; at least to me.

 Love is one of those topics that authors have been trying to define and fit into a box since we began.  It's a broad topic, but one that on some level we can all relate to, be it controversial or not.  I may not be sharing romantic love with anyone tomorrow, but it doesn't mean that I won't be sharing love with all those around me. 

With all my love,

Feb. 3rd, 2007


Superbowl Sunday 2007

At 10 o'clock at night I'm just realizing that I haven't eaten since my meager meal of organic black bean soup which was around 3pm today. No wonder why I have an ulcer.

The series of events that I've been through tonight have had no rhyme or reason, but have certainly made me rethink my idea on global warming. How on earth could we possibly be in trouble when only 4 hours ago I could hardly see 3 feet in front of my car to drive home?! And 5 hours ago the sky was full of pretty pastels and light-hearted clouds. Mother Nature is certainly having an interesting way with us these days.


While sharing a drink with a friend at Nasty D's last night (it will always be RJ's in my heart), I became pensive about three things:

1. Why does it seem like older lesbians all wear 'Obsession' by Calvin Klein?
2. Why does it seem like most lesbian relationships don't work out?
3. What the hell am I going to do for Superbowl Sunday?!

Numbers 1 and 2 we can brush over for now, but 3 seems pretty important. As a 24 year old I should have had some sort of plan in place for the past few weeks where I'd wake up tomorrow and head over to someone's place to start the drinking festivities all day long. I realize as I sit here with my mostly cold mashed potatoes from KFC and two cats, that I'm either not normal, or screwed! (Maybe both.) Now there is a big deal being made of this over at Nasty D's, however I have no desires to go alone, and if my friend shows, (she's a new friend), I don't want to latch on to her and her group as they'd be the only ones there that I'd know. I certainly can't stay at home alone - who does that on Superbowl Sunday?! The worst of the worst, I could go over to my sister's and hang out with her and my niece and nephew who are both pre-teens. Wow - what kind of 24 year old am I?

This questioning of age is something that I'm quite familiar with. My past two relationships have involved dating women who were both 10 and 20 years older than me. I wonder if I'm not an old soul in a young body, or just doomed to never date until I'm 40? Truly, what normal 24 year old can recite French poetry off the top of her head, is attracted to women much older than she is, has nightmares about global warming, and most importantly, doesn't have plans for Superbowl Sunday?! (Disclaimer, I am working from 9-4p - but that still doesn't count.)

So goodness - where all of this is leading, I have no idea. With any luck I'll piece something together and salvage my youth!


February 2007



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